第86章
- T. Tembarom
- Frances Hodgson Burnett
- 5253字
- 2016-03-04 16:59:59
That was it, was it? It wasn't only a matter of listening to a sermon;you had to do things.He had better watch out and see that he didn't miss anything.She didn't know it was his first time, and it might worry her to the limit if he didn't put it over all right.One of the things he had noticed in her was her fear of attracting attention by failing to do exactly the "proper thing." If he made a fool of himself by kneeling down when he ought to stand up, or lying down when he ought to sit, she'd get hot all over, thinking what the villagers or the other people would say.Well, Ann hadn't wanted him to look different from other fellows or to make breaks.He'd look out from start to finish.He directed a watchful eye at Miss Alicia through his fingers.She remained kneeling a few moments, and then very quietly got up.He rose with her, and took his big chair when she sat down.He breathed more freely when they had got that far.That was the first round.
It was not a large church, but a gray and solemn impression of dignity brooded over it.It was dim with light, which fell through stained-glass memorial windows set deep in the thick stone walls.The silence which reigned throughout its spaces seemed to Tembarom of a new kind, different from the silence of the big house.The occasional subdued rustle of turned prayer-book leaves seemed to accentuate it; the most careful movement could not conceal itself; a slight cough was a startling thing.The way, Tembarom thought, they could get things dead-still in English places!
The chimes, which had been ringing their last summons to the tardy, slackened their final warning notes, became still slower, stopped.
There was a slight stir in the benches occupied by the infant school.
It suggested that something new was going to happen.From some unseen place came the sound of singing voices-- boyish voices and the voices of men.Tembarom involuntarily turned his head.Out of the unseen place came a procession in white robes.Great Scott! every one was standing up! He must stand up, too.The boys and men in white garments filed into their seats.An elderly man, also in white robes, separated himself from them, and, going into his special place, kneeled down.
Then he rose and began to read:
"When the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness--"Tembarom took the open book which Miss Alicia had very delicately pushed toward him.He read the first words,--that was plain sailing,--then he seemed to lose his place.Miss Alicia turned a leaf.He turned one also.
"Dearly beloved brethren--"
There you were.This was once more plain sailing.He could follow it.
What was the matter with Miss Alicia? She was kneeling again, everybody was kneeling.Where was the hassock? He went down upon his knees, hoping Miss Alicia had not seen that he wasn't going to kneel at all.Then when the minister said "Amen," the congregation said it, too, and he came in too late, so that his voice sounded out alone.He must watch that.Then the minister knelt, and all the people prayed aloud with him.With the book before him he managed to get in after the first few words; but he was not ready with the responses, and in the middle of them everybody stood up again.And then the organ played, and every one sang.He couldn't sing, anyhow, and he knew he couldn't catch on to the kind of thing they were doing.He hoped Miss Alicia wouldn't mind his standing up and holding his book and doing nothing.He could not help seeing that eyes continually turned toward him.They'd notice every darned break he made, and Miss Alicia would know they did.He felt quite hot more than once.He watched Miss Alicia like a hawk; he sat down and listened to reading, he stood up and listened to singing; he kneeled, he tried to chime in with "Amens"and to keep up with Miss Alicia's bending of head and knee.But the creed, with its sudden turn toward the altar, caught him unawares, he lost himself wholly in the psalms, the collects left him in deep water, hopeless of ever finding his place again, and the litany baffled him, when he was beginning to feel safe, by changing from "miserable sinners" to "Spare us Good Lord" and "We beseech thee to hear us." If he could just have found the place he would have been all right, but an honest anxiety to be right excited him, and the fear of embarrassing Miss Alicia by going wrong made the morning a strenuous thing.He was so relieved to find he might sit still when the sermon began that he gave the minister an attention which might have marked him, to the chance beholder, as a religious enthusiast.
By the time the service had come to an end the stately peace of the place had seemed to sink into his being and become part of himself.
The voice of the minister bestowing his blessing, the voices of the white-clothed choir floating up into the vaulted roof, stirred him to a remote pleasure.He liked it, or he knew he would like it when he knew what to do.The filing out of the choristers, the silent final prayer, the soft rustle of people rising gently from their knees, somehow actually moved him by its suggestion of something before unknown.He was a heathen still, but a heathen vaguely stirred.
He was very quiet as he walked home across the park with Miss Alicia.
"How did you enjoy the sermon? " she asked with much sweetness.
"I 'm not used to sermons, but it seemed all right to me," he answered."What I've got to get on to is knowing when to stand up and when to sit down.I wasn't much of a winner at it this morning.Iguess you noticed that."
But his outward bearing had been much more composed than his inward anxiety had allowed him to believe.His hesitations had not produced the noticeable effect he had feared.
"Do you mean you are not quite familiar with the service?" she said.
Poor dear boy! he had perhaps not been able to go to church regularly at all.
"I'm not familiar with any service," he answered without prejudice." Inever went to church before."
She slightly started and then smiled.
"Oh, you mean you have never been to the Church of England," she said.
Then he saw that, if he told her the exact truth, she would be frightened and shocked.She would not know what to say or what to think.To her unsophisticated mind only murderers and thieves and criminals NEVER went to church.She just didn't know.Why should she?
So he smiled also.
"No, I've never been to the Church of England," he said.