第101章
- Howards End
- E.M.Forster
- 1045字
- 2016-03-02 16:33:37
It was a disquieting letter,though the opening was affectionate and sane.Dearest Meg,Give Helen's love to Aunt Juley.Tell her that I love,and have loved,her ever since I can remember.Ishall be in London Thursday.
My address will be care of the bankers.
I have not yet settled on a hotel,so write or wire to me there and give me detailed news.If Aunt Juley is much better,or if,for a terrible reason,it would be no good my coming down to Swanage,you must not think it odd if I do not come.I have all sorts of plans in my head.
I am living abroad at present,and want to get back as quickly as possible.
Will you please tell me where our furniture is.I should like to take out one or two books;the rest are for you.
Forgive me,dearest Meg.This must read like rather a tiresome letter,but all letters are from your loving Helen It was a tiresome letter,for it tempted Margaret to tell a lie.If she wrote that Aunt Juley was still in danger her sister would come.Unhealthiness is contagious.We cannot be in contact with those who are in a morbid state without ourselves deteriorating.
To "act for the best"might do Helen good,but would do herself harm,and,at the risk of disaster,she kept her colours flying a little longer.
She replied that their aunt was much better,and awaited developments.
Tibby approved of her reply.Mellowing rapidly,he was a pleasanter companion than before.Oxford had done much for him.He had lost his peevishness,and could hide his indifference to people and his interest in food.But he had not grown more human.
The years between eighteen and twenty-two,so magical for most,were leading him gently from boyhood to middle age.He had never known young-manliness,that quality which warms the heart till death,and gives Mr.Wilcox an imperishable charm.He was frigid,through no fault of his own,and without cruelty.He thought Helen wrong and Margaret right,but the family trouble was for him what a scene behind footlights is for most people.
He had only one suggestion to make,and that was characteristic.
"Why don't you tell Mr.Wilcox?"
"About Helen?"
"Perhaps he has come across that sort of thing.""He would do all he could,but--"
"Oh,you know best.But he is practical."
It was the student's belief in experts.Margaret demurred for one or two reasons.Presently Helen's answer came.
She sent a telegram requesting the address of the furniture,as she would now return at once.Margaret replied,"Certainly not;meet me at the bankers at four."She and Tibby went up to London.Helen was not at the bankers,and they were refused her address.Helen had passed into chaos.
Margaret put her arm round her brother.He was all that she had left,and never had he seemed more unsubstantial.
"Tibby love,what next?"
He replied:"It is extraordinary."
"Dear,your judgment's often clearer than mine.
Have you any notion what's at the back?"
"None,unless it's something mental."
"Oh--that!"said Margaret."Quite impossible."But the suggestion had been uttered,and in a few minutes she took it up herself.Nothing else explained.And London agreed with Tibby.
The mask fell off the city,and she saw it for what it really is--a caricature of infinity.The familiar barriers,the streets along which she moved,the houses between which she had made her little journeys for so many years,became negligible suddenly.Helen seemed one with grimy trees and the traffic and the slowly-flowing slabs of mud.She had accomplished a hideous act of renunciation and returned to the One.Margaret's own faith held firm.She knew the human soul will be merged,if it be merged at all,with the stars and the sea.Yet she felt that her sister had been going amiss for many years.It was symbolic the catastrophe should come now,on a London afternoon,while rain fell slowly.
Henry was the only hope.Henry was definite.
He might know of some paths in the chaos that were hidden from them,and she determined to take Tibby's advice and lay the whole matter in his hands.
They must call at his office.He could not well make it worse.
She went for a few moments into St.Paul's,whose dome stands out of the welter so bravely,as if preaching the gospel of form.But within,St.Paul's is as its surroundings--echoes and whispers,inaudible songs,invisible mosaics,wet footmarks crossing and recrossing the floor.
Si monumentum requiris,circumspice:it points us back to London.
There was no hope of Helen here.
Henry was unsatisfactory at first.That she had expected.He was overjoyed to see her back from Swanage,and slow to admit the growth of a new trouble.When they told him of their search,he only chaffed Tibby and the Schlegels generally,and declared that it was "just like Helen"to lead her relatives a dance.
"That is what we all say,"replied Margaret.
"But why should it be just like Helen?Why should she be allowed to be so queer,and to grow queerer?""Don't ask me.I'm a plain man of business.
I live and let live.My advice to you both is,don't worry.
Margaret,you've got black marks again under your eyes.You know that's strictly forbidden.First your aunt--then your sister.
No,we aren't going to have it.Are we,Theobald?"He rang the bell."I'll give you some tea,and then you go straight to Ducie Street.I can't have my girl looking as old as her husband.""All the same,you have not quite seen our point,"said Tibby.
Mr.Wilcox,who was in good spirits,retorted,"Idon't suppose I ever shall."He leant back,laughing at the gifted but ridiculous family,while the fire flickered over the map of Africa.
Margaret motioned to her brother to go on.Rather diffident,he obeyed her.
"Margaret's point is this,"he said."Our sister may be mad."Charles,who was working in the inner room,looked round.