第71章

Have I wronged you personally? Then forgive me, if you can.But, have I sinned against God and man, and deeply sinned? Then be more my friend than ever, for I need you more.""Do not bewilder me thus, Miriam!" exclaimed Hilda, who had not forborne to express, by look and gesture, the anguish which this interview inflicted on her."If I were one of God's angels, with a nature incapable of stain, and garments that never could be spotted, I would keep ever at your side, and try to lead you upward.But I am a poor, lonely girl, whom God has set here in an evil world, and given her only a white robe, and bid her wear it back to Him, as white as when she put it on.Your powerful magnetism would be too much for me.The pure, white atmosphere, in which I try to discern what things are good and true, would be discolored.And therefore, Miriam, before it is too late, I mean to put faith in this awful heartquake which warns me henceforth to avoid you.""Ah, this is hard! Ah, this is terrible!" murmured Miriam, dropping her forehead in her hands.In a moment or two she looked up again, as pale as death, but with a composed countenance: "I always said, Hilda, that you were merciless; for I had a perception of it, even while you loved me best.You have no sin, nor any conception of what it is; and therefore you are so terribly severe! As an angel, you are not amiss; but, as a human creature, and a woman among earthly men and women, you need a sin to soften you.""God forgive me," said Hilda, "if I have said a needlessly cruel word!" "Let it pass," answered Miriam; "I, whose heart it has smitten upon, forgive you.And tell me, before we part forever, what have you seen orknown of me, since we last met?"

"A terrible thing, Miriam," said Hilda, growing paler than before.

"Do you see it written in my face, or painted in my eyes?" inquired Miriam, her trouble seeking relief in a half-frenzied raillery."I would fain know how it is that Providence, or fate, brings eye-witnesses to watch us, when we fancy ourselves acting in the remotest privacy.Did all Rome see it, then? Or, at least, our merry company of artists? Or is it some blood-stain on me, or death-scent in my garments? They say that monstrous deformities sprout out of fiends, who once were lovely angels.

Do you perceive such in me already? Tell me, by our past friendship, Hilda, all you know."Thus adjured, and frightened by the wild emotion which Miriam could not suppress, Hilda strove to tell what she had witnessed.